Welcome

Hi and welcome everyone. 

          This is the first of, hopefully many, posts of interest to families.  I'll try to include posts that are fun or informative for everyone, from craft ideas, projects and songs that I've done with my own children and grandchildren to shared research and parenting tips.  Feedback and shared ideas are always appreciated.

          I've been pulling out my Halloween and fall themed songs in my teaching with pre-school and younger elementary school students.  I've always had songs for every season and times of day.  Music is such a wonderful parenting tool.  I've made up new words to familiar songs as a way to make chores fun - cleaning up, using the potty, brushing teeth, even simple things like putting on shoes when your child is distracted or being obstinate.  I remember how frustrating that was for me when I was on a schedule, needing to be somewhere on time, and my child refused to cooperate.  The more frustrated I got, the harder it was.  When I learned the secret of singing or turning the struggle into a game, life was mostly simpler.  One thing I learned along that path was that I had to keep switching up my strategy.  I would sing for a while, changing songs and lyrics regularly until that stopped working, then came a game.  Maybe I would start whispering next or act incredibly silly, taking them off guard.  I always thought that successful parenting involved more creativity that most people realize.  

          However, that doesn't mean that there aren't times for clear limits with clearly stipulated consequences.  That was one of the hardest parts of parenting for me.  My own parents clearly wanted to control all of our thoughts and actions, were very strict disciplinarians in an era when children were still being spanked in school, let alone at home.  They were inconsistent with the rules and punishments changing sometimes daily and often without notice, causing us to be on guard constantly for fear of breaking some unknown rule.  As a result, I floundered as a teen and young adult trying to teach myself social skills and the basics of survival.  Because of this, I decided, as a young parent, that I would teach my children to make their own choices.  Unfortunately, I didn't understand the importance of their perceived safety in terms of the limits I set - or didn't set.  

          My children went to The Albany Free School for varying amounts of time, and I taught there for 12 years.  Sometimes, there were parent nights when a child development expert would come in to talk.  Once a child psychologist came in, spoke for a while then opened the floor to questions.  At the time, my son was suffering from night terrors.  My husband and I had tried everything we could think of to sooth his fears.  We left a light on, chanted, burned sage, sat with him until he fell asleep, but nothing was working.  We asked for any ideas to help us deal with this dilemma.  We were told that children often experience these terrors when they feel unsafe because of inconsistencies at home.  After asking us a few more questions about our parenting, he suggested that we determine firm and consistent limits with consequences thought out ahead of time and explained clearly.  It was important that we both agree on all limits and consequences so that we'd both follow through.  He also wisely advised us to choose our battles carefully.  I've learned that it's equally important to know when to be flexible.  Within a week or two, my son slept soundly through the night.  It felt like a miracle, but I later realized it was common sense.  Unfortunately, it was a common sense skill that was never passed on to me from my own struggling and confused parents.

          As tough as my parents were on my brother and me, they were equally fun.  Music was a huge part of our daily life, and they always played with us, indoors and out.  Halloween was always exciting as we made our own costumes and decorated our house and yard.  Costume making has seemed to go out of fashion, but it was one of the things I loved the most.  I often made or helped make my children's costumes, too.  There are lots of great ideas, and it fosters everyone's imaginations.  Have your children picked out their costumes, yet?  What do they love?  Are they fond of animals?  Do they like a certain character?  A certain type of food?  Ask them to describe what that would look like?  One of my children who was not yet walking, wore a footed sleeper with two round ears and was a "Rug Rat."  Another fun costume for one of my babies and me was a kangaroo with my baby Roo wearing a eared hat in a front carrier. Here are a couple of fun sites for ideas.

www.parenting.com/gallery/no-sew-halloween-costumes-for-kids

www.personalcreations.com/blog/75-creative-diy-halloween-costumes-for-kids

www.pinterest.com/explore/diy-kids-costumes/?lp=true

          Here's a fun Halloween song you can sing to the tune of "Frere Jacques" with your child. 

Ghosts and goblins,
Ghosts and goblins,
Witches too,
Witches too,
All out trick or treating,
All out trick or treating,
Can’t scare you ... boo!
Can’t scare you ... boo!

And here's a you tube video I found for another cute pumpkin song.
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I hope you enjoyed this first post.  I'm happy to use this space to help answer questions or address specific requested topics.